I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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