why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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