we're blogging at a bar
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
