evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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