Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
