so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
