I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my being single is dangerous.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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