waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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