i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
