I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
