i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
