You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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