Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
