We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
