State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
