I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
