I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just pee around me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
