apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
