Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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