sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize