hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
50% drunk capacity currently
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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