Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
