brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
