My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
