He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
