then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
