i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
