my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize