I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
