So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
