So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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