the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
