its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
