I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize