come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And then he peed in my hair
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize