Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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