Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if only i could text you this smell
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
