I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize