we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
