Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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