my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
