He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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