it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
