He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
