a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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