well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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