why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
