Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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