I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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