Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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