I queefed so loud it echoed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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