Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
