The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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