I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
